[REVIEW] CHiPS... All Salt, No Laughs
Hello Nerds and other faithful readers! Guess what?! So, I went and saw the CHIPS movie. I could probably just stop there, but since you paid so much of your hard earned cash to access this review I’ll give you a little love, which is more than this film gave me.
First, lets lay out the “plot” for you:
“Jon Baker (Dax Shepard) and Frank "Ponch" Poncherello (Michael Péna) have just joined the California Highway Patrol in Los Angeles, but for very different reasons. Baker is a former motorbike rider who's trying to put his life and marriage back together. Poncherello is a cocky, undercover FBI agent who's investigating a multimillion dollar heist that may be an inside job. Forced to work together, the inexperienced rookie and hardened veteran begin clashing instead of clicking while trying to nab the bad guys.” (via IMDB).
This film is directed by none other than comedy "genius" Dax Shepard, and has quite the interesting cast (Why, Michael Péna? Why?!). Dax went full Cali with this film, introducing a character who is a cop addicted to opiates and another character that is a cop who manages to work “bro” into every sentence. To give Dax some credit, there were a handful of scenes that got me to chuckle (Michael Péna getting a face full of Dax junk—who wouldn’t want that, amiright?!), but ultimately these scenes were all in the trailer, and not much else happened.
Vincent D'Onofrio tried his best to help this movie and they even had an Eric Estrada cameo (Spoiler Alert, because you totally still care at this point), but it still managed to have a plot line so thin and full of holes it made Trump’s plans for America look like an iron-clad stroke of genius. Also, according to this film “eating ass is standard”, so there’s that.
Final Verdict: Honestly, if you were super stoned (or drunk) this movie MIGHT be enjoyable, but don’t bet on it. Overall, I didn’t absolutely hate it, but I would not watch it again.
Rating: CHIPS has earned itself 1 out of 5 public bathroom masturbation points (this is a thing in the movie…like for real).
If you disagree, or would like to further emphasize the shit show that is this movie, please feel free to drop a comment below, or on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/whatevs (after you hit the “like” button of course 😎).