This Company Will Press Your Dead Ashes Into a Record
Do you think about dying? Wonder what your worthless family is going to do rotting corpse? Worry no more! Because after your loved ones throw your ass on the funeral pyre, a UK company called AndVinyly will press your ashes into a (playable) vinyl album.
Starting at a measly $3,700, their basic package includes pressing your actual cremated ashes into 30 discs, each with 24 total minutes of audio (or 12 minutes on each side). They can either record an original message or song or have them use a favorite album (if your family doesn't choose Bowie's "Starman" or Whitesnake's "Here I Go Again," disown them RIGHT NOW). Additionally, purchase additional audio time, backing tracks, or have them write original music for you. but the discs come with standard artwork and labels that include your name, date of birth, and date of death. You even get original artwork using photos you provide them.
And just in case your loved ones are strapped for cash after sending you off in the most rock'n'roll way possibly, the company offers to distribute your album to “reputable vinyl stores worldwide.” Simply amazing.
So, which album or song would you have your ashes pressed into? A little Queen, perhaps? Let us know!